"i do not like the feeling"

"i do not like the feeling"
by Savannah Brown

i do not like the feeling of being shaken
i do not like the feeling of my brain
banging against the walls of my skull
heart flattened in the put of my stomach
i do not like you
i do not like you because you are a steel tectonic plate
you are a disaster and there is nothing
natural about you
i do not like you because your laugh is like
feather stems forced through my temples
i do not like the feeling of falling ten stories
my organs escaping out through my mouth
i do not like the feeling of weightlessness
i am not in the business of taking bullets
so i do not like the feeling of desperation
begging to hear gunfire
because you would not forget me then
i do not like the feeling of hollow wrists
fastened to strings, marionette
raising the crushed velvet curtain discovering
silhouettes whispering like wind chimes
depicting all the times i could have told you 
something i am feeling something
i do not like the feeling of look at me
i do not like the feeling of almost
of almost beds and almost nights
that you would remember as belonging to me
the nights i won the nights i was 
running from you just so i could feel
your labored breaths on the back of my beck
of almost eye locks, i'll shove a key through your socket
i'll crush you i'll stuff you inside of a locket
i do not like the feeling of irrelevance
i do not like the feeling of smarter than me
of better than me
i do not like the feeling of no longer queen
i do not like the feeling of dreams where i'm stood
from a height and you are the breeze
i swear to god i heard you hiss
i do not like the feeling of being rattled
snake jaw snapped open i'll swallow you whole
i do not like you 
i do not like how your body next 
to mine feels like a death sentence
killed by cutting clauses
too accidentally tender
i do not like the feeling of you
in the same way i do not like the feeling of drunk
swimming in head scorch throat red
but that doesn't stop me
i do not like the feeling of you
i do not like the feeling of bones bending to fit your shape
creaking music of decay
you are eating away at my flesh
parasitic picture of perfection
i do not like the feeling of words trapped in my chest
lungs sticky with smoke and regret, second guess
i do not like the feeling of you

Listen to an audio recording of this poem on youtube.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BG1t5cI6U2g